How to find your true love in difficult times

 

Love is becoming a virtual commodity

Soon, very few people will remember what it was like when eyes met from a distance and love blossomed. Are we losing touch with what thousands of years of civilization have taught us?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Love is a really complicated set of emotions and behaviours that is responsible for the decisions we make and how we live our lives. With more of us likely to be spending less time going out and more time at home, you might be wondering if true love will become something of the past, especially as we move into a stronger digital era. I've already written about the meaning of love in my  so I'll try not to be too repetitive here. Falling in love for most of us now involves some form of digital connection and interaction. But is this a healthy way to create a bond between two people? Maybe I'm just old fashioned at heart and my expectations are those that forgotten stories have taught me. Perhaps the age of digital love is something I need to get used to and accept.

How to find your true love in difficult times

OK, so we've established it's not easy finding true love at a time like this, but it's not impossible. Anything is possible if you know how. When I say true love, I'm talking about an everlasting bond between two people that's based on the deepest mutual respect for each other. A bond that can only form when the circumstances are right and when both people understand each other's intricate and complicated emotions. True love is difficult to establish when two people are communicating and connecting through a screen and have never met.

The first steps to finding love online during quarantine

The first thing to do, is sign up with as many good dating sites as you can, like Flirthut of course. Dating sites are still very active with members interacting remotely. A lot of the larger, more commercial dating sites have also added additional features like video calling. A luxury we, at Flirthut, unfortunately don't have at the moment. And while video calling sounds great, it should be used with caution, especially during this time. There are several reasons for this, but the biggest one is that some people will use the video function for illicit and inappropriate reasons. And if you experience something like this, it might put you off wanting to meet anyone else, delaying your quest to find real love.

Signing up with dating sites

So you're signed up to lots of dating sites and apps – what next? Obviously, you'll need a good profile for each, and to save time, you could use the same profile on each platform. Just make sure your profile is nicely polished. Next, you'll need a few good photos, with at least one of those showing your entire body. You should have plenty of time to take some decent shots even with an old smartphone. My pet hate are filters. A lot of people seem to use them like it's going out of fashion. But filters are basically a way of disguising yourself and turning yourself into something you're not. Unless you can turn up to a date looking like your filter, don't pretend that's what you are. You're not a dog with long ears or a drag queen with large glasses, and your skin isn't smoother than a babies bottom. So leave the filters out of your pictures and take a few good honest shots. That way, when you meet your date, they'll know exactly what to expect.

Now that you've got your profile all sorted, you'll need to start searching. If you're lucky, or if you're a woman, you might not need to do any searching because your matches will come to you. I'm not being s*xist here in any way but women tend to get far more interest than men on dating sites. That's a fact. When you've found someone that you're interested in, you'll need to write an opening message.

Writing the opening message

Bearing in mind that none of us can actually meet at the moment, and there are a lot of single people stuck indoors, you need to be considerate with your messages. Many people are frustrated with the situation, are feeling lonely and isolated. Think carefully about what you say. Whatever you do, DON'T open a message with vulgar innuendos or obscenities. It's not only offensive, it's also extremely inconsiderate and can make people feel even lower than they may already be.

So what is a good opening message?

There's no formula for this and unfortunately, very little I can offer in terms of advice that I haven't already. Everyone is different and each message needs to be tailored to the individual. Read their profiles and find out a little about them. Perhaps ask them a question about themselves and their interests. Or maybe you have things in common that you can start a dialogue about. Don't make your opening message too long, but equally, don't just restrict it to a few words or a short sentence. You need to come across as being interested and interesting.

Falling in love with someone online

A continual period of isolation will ultimately affect how we all perceive the relationships we form with people online. It may be far easier to fall in love with someone without even meeting them because they'll be providing the emotional support we are craving. But be mindful that this feeling of love might be shortlived, particularly if you meet in person. That's not to be critical about you in any way, but meeting someone face to face can create very different emotions and chemistry. Enjoy your romance as it blossoms online but be careful not be become too obsessed with the direction of your relationship until you finally meet. Let's hope that comes really soon.

Flirthut is an independent dating site with hundreds of thousands of members around the world. Sign up for free for your chance to find true love.

Now might be a good time to rekindle our relationship.